It's Only Love

Let's meet at the library
Then we won't have to talk
We'll stare a hole in the reading room
We'll tie a whole new knot

---- The Silos

and it costs

One of the things they don't tell you in library school is how much it costs to work for a school. (The list goes on and on, they don't give you a list of dirty words that kids will call you after they get caught doing something wrong {when a student does something wrong, it is your fault}.)

About every week there is a different fundraiser going on. On Fridays there is some kind of teacher fundraiser, like wear jeans and donate $5. For me this is a straight forward donation, since I don't own any jeans. Or a 50/50 raffle. This was a straight forward donation, since I bought my tickets after the raffle had been drawn. This week I was hit up for at least two fundraisers.

I am at the end of my philanthropy kindness.

I would have to say most of the donations are things I wouldn't do out of the blue. I won't donate $10 to a student to behave how we should expect them to behave for nothing. Nor would I buy over-priced pizzas. And I would never donate to a group that doesn't ask their parents to also donate.

Last week, I realized that the junior class had hit me up for $37 for $20 worth of pizzas and several of the students did not sell ANY pizzas. That is to say they did not ask their neighbor, they did not ask their grandma, they did not ask their PARENTS. Added to this is the fact is this fundraising often goes to a trip that is basically a vacation. Last year our seniors went on a cruise -- and drank their way through it. This year seniors are going to Southern California. (I heard a senior complaining about the trip because they actually had to go on educational tours. He wanted to lay on the beach for five days.)

That was the line.

Last night I didn't attend the fish fry fundraiser. A couple people asked me if I was going. Mostly because up until now I have gone to about 78 percent of the events and I have bought into 92 percent of the merchandise sold. The last fundraiser dinner (Mexican), there was about a 60 percent family participation. Maybe every student had one parent, but often it was only one parent; no siblings and no grandparents. With the world of divorce, most kids have at least four parents and eight siblings.

About 70 people showed up to the Mexican dinner, and maybe 45 were related to the students. The other 25 people were like me --- either a faculty member or a friend of someone.

I figure, if I am doing my math right, if the 'non-connected by family' participants stop financing the fundraising, there will be two good results. First, the fund raising burden will be placed more on the shoulders of those benefiting from it and second, they only raise enough money for a weekend trip to the Washington Monument.

Both would be very educational.

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jinx

I must have jinxed myself, because the few kids that came to the library today were on track and doing what they should.

That included the morning where we had kindergarten screening. It's kind of fun to see the innocent little kids, especially when I compare them to Thursday kindergarten class what will be first graders next year.

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first day of the rest of my life

Coming to the education profession late in life I feel I am not up to speed. But if I was 25 I wouldn't be up to speed either. I might have a few years to develop, though I would suspect I would feel the same as I do now: frustrated that I don't have all the answers.

I am not sure how to view being a school librarian at this day and time, as it might compare to a generation ago. It is really hard for me to say, since it was about 20 from the time I graduated high school to the point I stepped in a public school again. For the education itself, it might be like comparing apples to apple sauce. Quite similar, but expressing in different forms.

My memory of those high school years is pretty hazy. I'm not even sure my high school had a library. Either that is how out of it I was, or how little my high school used it as a tool. In fact, there was a public library across the street from my high school. I hardly ever went inside. My mom would pick me up from school some times and that was our meeting place, but I waited outside. My mom was once an hour late and I still didn't go in.

I know one thing for sure, I don't remember the students back there being any more motivated to step outside their world than they are now.

For example, I remember taking a current events class where I was one of the smartest merely because I read the newspaper and watched the nightly news. Well I wasn't the smartest, I was just prepared. I would guess the average student is even less prepared or media savvy now, mainly because they think a blog is news. They think myspace is the place to learn. I know what you are reading has less to do with facts than an apple press.

I also know in my high school class of 1,000 kids, only about 850 graduated. I am guessing it was much better accepted back then --- kids not graduating that is.

One thing is for sure --- though I don't have statistics or a glass of cider --- but if a student has decided not to learn, education is tough. (related story) It doesn't mater if it 1970 or 2006. You can make not learning so unbearable that they give in; you could find something he or she likes and hope you can relate information to it. But really, it is tough.

In the library there are students that come and have decided they are not going to do anything for the next 40 minutes. I know I should send them back, but I want the library to be a friendly place. I have to say at times I am losing. In the attempt to be friendly, I am 'shhhh-ing' and 'please be quiet' and 'could you get back on track' to the point of annoyance. I suppose I might as well just have them not be there and cut out the middle 'shushing.'

Perhaps what is the most frustrating is 70 percent of the students are working and getting things done so they can go play baseball or practice the play or play video games all night. Those are the kids I want to remember at the end of the day.

There are a couple kids that are taking independent classes that are quiet work hard and if they need my help, I have not heard them ask for it. I think tomorrow I change.

if you are a student...

I wish, if there was one thing we could teach, it would be the apology.

I am the first to say you can not just say, "I am sorry," and that relinquishes you from trying to do good or all the wrong you created. But when you falter, you should be willing to ask for forgiveness.

I am not sure what pries that thought into my head tonight (10:04 p.m.), but it seems to have slipped in.

My main thought is that a week ago, I put on the morning announcements that the next day would be spring picture day and to dress nice. Right after the Tuesday announcement I started hearing that the students were upset at the lack of warning that this was picture day.

They would have dressed nice if they knew. When a teacher came up to me and said I was going to catch a lot of flack I was a little annoyed. I would have to say of all the announcements I have made, from photos for the baseball team to the softball team have mostly been ignored.

This time I thought I had screwed up. then I check the previous day e-mail and there it was right in the announcements. I forwarded to the teacher, whom I am guessing did not tell all the students they were wrong, but they were.

That is a small thing, but it is nearing the end of the year and a lot of the small things are adding up. Today a student told me I told him how to do his bibliography card wrong. The english teacher has the students do their MLA style citation on an index card and connects those cards with note cards. Bib card one could be an encyclopedia. Three or four note cards, with facts about a give topic could be associated with that card. So it might be note card one, with a number 1 on it, showing the note came from the resource #1.

I looked at the student's card and he didn't have an author or a book listed on it. I think he had an article from the book, a publisher and a copyright. Again, I thought maybe I did make a mistake, but I remembered the only thing I did tell him, was to use the big long title of the book.

"O yea," says student.

I guess in his mind that was the apology.

Maybe I want the apology because it seems educators receive so few 'thank yous.' I can accept the lack of thank yous, I just don't want to be beat up when I didn't do anything wrong and if I actually did the right thing, "I am sorry, that was my mistake."

This goes with the thought that this generation is the 'entitlement generation.' They deserve everything.

I don't think they deserve to be wrong.

I hate the end of the day.

The end of the day is when you are tired and know you need to go to bed, but you also know you should read. And reading might be a good thing, since it takes you mind of what you didn't do during the day.

I was working on the yearbook tonight and it reminded me of all the family trees of a small district -- in a small town. These trees have a lot of roots that cross over. There are families with four kids and a collection of six parents. I wonder if this is true in other districts. If the math teacher was smart, she would teach probablity with the concept of: what is the chances you are related to the kid seated next to  you?

There is the six degrees of seperation and in the small town, the two seats away of relativity...

I was looking up a kids name for the yearbook and realized her mom is the mom of another kid. I know that should not be such a big thing, but after a year, you start knowing the connections. You might not know how they are related, but you know they are related somehow. In this case, I have never seen the one kid acknowledge the other. Some of that is may be they haven't been in the library at the same time.

To explain this more, one day a senior was talking to a girl. I told him quit flirting and get to work. His response was: "that is my cousin."

I told him that was redundant, since 80 percent of all students are hs cousins.

The school only has 200 kids --- k-12 --- and it is in the middle of nowhere. I joke that you don't have to say 'drive an hour and turn right' when you are giving directions, because everything is about an hour away.  Nowhere as in there are no feeder communities.

It's one of the reason why I really don't mind having a long distance relationship. I always need to get out of town once in a while

See this rambling, it's why I hate the end of the day. There are way too many thoughts in my head. Too much chatter in the back of of the classroom, when I need some zzzzz's.